The One-Week Facebook Detox

Hey guys,

I hope you had a fantastic week!

So, following on from my dramatic 'quarter-life crisis' post, last week, I decided to give Facebook up cold turkey for 7 days.

Why?

Well, I realised I was spending more time online, eyeing other people's posts, comparing lives, and distracting myself, than I was thinking about my own life, my own goals and my own dreams. Which doesn't make much sense right? I still have a lot I want to figure out, a lot of soul-searching I want to do, and clicking through an acquaintance's dinner photos for an hour totally doesn't make a lot of sense.

Facebook is such a strange addictive being - it preys on our deepest insecurities and our deepest desires - that yin-yang relationship between the fear of not being good enough, and the deep yearning to be heard, to have a voice. It creates celebrities out of each of us, plants us in a bubble of self-obsession and provides a platform for incessant comparison and external validation, that in the long-term surely cannot be healthy.

Now don't get me wrong - social media has done a lot of good as well. But there comes a point when the line fades.

 

www.mymodernmet.com

It's like society on a platter. Your circle of people watches your every move, your photos, your life events; and you stare back out at them, watching the updates flashing by. 

Everything we post up on social media is posted up with the knowledge that it will be judged by almost everyone you know. Which then means most of what we see being presented to us - perfect selfies, excited announcements, cool hashtags - are an airbrushed version of each person's reality. An attempt to reaffirm one's success in the eyes of society. I know this because I frequently am guilty of it.

And yet we forget the fact that everything see is 'airbrushed' when we scan our social media every hour - subconsciously the messages we are being sent as we click through our newsfeed are: everyone else is doing so well, why am I not?

I don't know if everyone feels this way, but I was definitely reaching the point where I needed a break from all the noise, and needed to retreat into my own world and figure things out.

So I didn't log into Facebook for 7-8 days. And here's what I noticed:


1) I didn't know what to do in the evenings if I needed to distract myself. So I was forced to focus and get my work done - by day 3, I was super efficient and super productive.

2) I wasn't bothered by information overload, so my mind felt a lot more relaxed.

3) I had eliminated a key aggravator of 'comparison syndrome' - I didn't feel the need to compare myself to all 900 of my FB friends because I no longer knew what all 900 people were doing. I kept in touch with close friends via email and Skype chat and that was just enough.

4) I was less bothered by ridiculous feelings of inadequacy if my profile picture got less likes than my friends (yes, we've all been there). Life suddenly felt a lot more calm, a lot less competitive and just a lot more simple.

5) I could more clearly assess me  and my life for what it was, and not for what it was relative to others. This is so key and so important.

So those were the pros. The only real 'con' I noticed, was that I found it hard to stay in contact with people in general, without using Facebook chat. A week later, I felt as though I had fallen off the planet and I had no idea what was happening with people I cared about - because emails got missed or time differences came in the way.

I also really missed making statements through my status updates - they were cool.

This led me to conclude that the only utility I wanted out of Facebook was:
1) The ability to contact friends I actually want to check in with, on my terms, through Facebook chat.
2) The ability to use Facebook status updates as a means to share strong beliefs and ideals that I believed would actually make a difference.

This all comes back to the point of 'being in control' - we should be in control of our consumption patterns, and our habits and lives should not be dictated to us by this crazy information-intensive mass consumerist culture that we live in. It's the same with mobile phones for instance - do we really need a new slightly-updated, but really not very different version of the iPhone every 3 months?

Anyway, I digress.

My Facebook detox was awesome. It gave me time to just be me, in the absence of a billion voices to compare with and filter through. And I feel a lot better as a result, because I managed to slowly figure out what I wanted for myself and some short-term goals. I was more in control of my thoughts and my time, and I felt relieved and relaxed.

I probably will not go on a total week-long Facebook ban again - but what I have decided to do, is to be more in control of my usage. 1 hour a day maximum. And I'm going to get my friends to use email a bit more ;). There's definitely something charming about receiving a page-long email from someone right?

So what does Facebook add to your life - and what does it take away? Is it time to re-jig the way you use it so that the tool serves you and you don't serve the tool? There's no denying that there has been a lot of good that social media does, so there maybe this is one way through which we can take the good without the bad.

As always, I'd love to know what you think!
 
Til' next time,
Love,
A.x

Behind that Perfect Selfie...

Hi Guys!

I hope you've had a really awesome week.

I came to a pretty big (but somewhat obvious) realisation this week.

That for all the little things I was doing - re-establishing my routine with affirmations and meditation, and strange and wonderful new techniques to think better and live better - I wasn't really addressing any of the underlying core self-beliefs that really needed mending.

What I have been doing, is taking a 'band-aid approach', and temporarily masking deeper issues around my thinking patterns and self-beliefs with momentary quick-fix solutions.
Don't get me wrong - practices like meditation are essential, but they are, I now realise, Stage 2 of any self-improvement journey: Stage 1 involving being brave enough to look into the mirror and really understand who we are - what are our most monumental fears? What really holds us back? What beliefs are limiting us from being the best we can be, and why?

   

www.flickr.com - Alana Steinberg

Doing this is scary, because it forces us to examine ourselves and our lives in rich, unapologetic detail. We're often afraid of our own truths - maybe because we've been programmed by the outside world to expect ourselves to be perfect, to feel as though anything less than perfect is something to be ashamed of. Indeed, all we see around us, on social media, in advertisements, is a clean and sanitised version of everyone's lives - a facade of perfection.


We're so afraid to admit to each other that our internal world is actually different. It's definitely not perfect. And we know it  - deep down, we know that everyone struggles, everyone's afraid, everyone has a dimension to them that is full of insecurity and past hurts. And that's what makes us the rich, complex, fascinating beings we are - the fact that we can succeed despite our failures, despite our pasts - the fact that the goodness in us has the power to ultimately overcome the misgivings and negative trappings of our mind. The fact that there is literally a battle between good and evil, going on within us everyday - the outcome of which is determined by our choices. 


And when we choose to ignore the ugly bits, the scary bits, the harsh realities of ourselves and our lives, we're not really winning any battles, we're putting them off. In fact, we're allowing the negativity in us to fester and grow quietly in the background, as we take overexposed selfies and post them expectantly on Facebook, hoping for the validation of others, for the many 'likes' and comments, to distract us, trick us into believing that everything is A-OK - when we know that it surely is not. I know I am often guilty of this.

http://jeannettewilson.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/get-more-likes.jpg

We need to stop running from the full picture of who we are, and take a moment to step back and acknowledge ourselves in all of our disgustingly awesome glory. Because that's where true self-love begins.


I grudgingly realized this when a few days ago, my mood just crashed - for absolutely no reason, no trigger. I felt like a heavy tent that had been held up by flimsy sticks, just crashing to the floor. And I could not explain why. I felt a sense of frustration and anger, and a deep sense of sudden dissatisfaction with myself and my life. And although meditation, and affirmations, and all of that made me feel better for a few minutes, as the day progressed, I felt the silent arm of unexplainable discomfort grip at me.

The last time I had felt that extent of dissatisfaction or uneasieness with my life, it had made me question where I was working, where I was living and what I was doing, and it ended up enabling me to find a sense of Purpose. Make no mistake - those moments of deep innate frustration, that feeling that wrenches at your gut, screaming at you to re-examine your life - that feeling always leads to change -  if you choose to explore it fearlessly, ready to hear and act upon the answers within yourself.

 

journal.supereightstudio.com

But this time, I wasn't listening. I was ignoring. Because I was really scared of what I would hear if I dared to ask myself what needed to change in my life now. So instead, here I am, I'm listening passively to affirmations, hanging out with friends and learning Hindi. Which is nice, but I know that when I get home, and I'm alone with myself, that gut feeling will creep in again going *warning warning something is not quite right!*.

So I decided to start addressing it.

I basically went home one day and asked myself what was wrong - almost like a shrink session run by me, for me - and I took notes on my laptop. The first thing I wanted to figure out, was why I was being so tough on myself recently. Why did I feel I wasn't doing enough, achieving enough? All sorts of things came up - self criticisms, judgements, fears, doubts. So I took a step back and dug deeper, and tried to figure out where these negative beliefs were coming from - I could trace most of them back clearly to past events that had planted the seed of an flawed belief in my mind, and from then on, the self-fulfilling prophecy had ensured that everything I saw and experienced, reaffirmed that belief.

It was a confronting couple of hours to step back and face your emotions straight up, but afterwards, I felt stronger, and I felt as though I was in control again - as though I understood myself better, my mind better. This is a science really. Our mind is a machine.And we should be constantly aware of its workings - we need to own the machine, the machine should not own us. And to be in control, we need to switch off 'Auto-Pilot', and stop ignoring what our gut is telling us. Took me a fair while to figure that out this week.

That self-shrink session was just beginning of me sorting out my own issues and dealing with what feels like a so-called 'Quarter-Life Crisis' - as questions like: "What really makes me happy?", "where exactly am I heading in life?", "what do I really want, in 5, 10 years time, and how will I get there?" have started pounding at my mind.

These are 'future questions', and to address these, we need to resolve our past.

So that's where I'm at and I wanted to share that. Because a part of me knows we all face similar struggles, but we don't always acknowledge it. And that's not okay, because we really are all in this together. These were some steps I took to make things clearer and start addressing my inner world:

7 Steps to Run Your Own Self-Shrink Session:

1. Take out a piece of paper and write down all the emotions you are feeling now. Don't filter anything.
2. Keep writing until you hit upon some recurring themes.
3. Now take a moment and observe your thoughts - what sort of thoughts are running through your mind? Write them down.
4. In front of you now, is your inner world on a piece of paper - what does it look like to you?
5. If it doesn't look too fantastic, uplifting or positive, start digging deeper. Try linking the emotions to the thoughts.
6. Tackle it one thought at a time - where did this thought come from? When did you first start feeling this way about yourself and your life...and WHY? (When I did this, I literally had a past memory flash in my head and it suddenly made sense where this belief was coming from).

7. You know why it's happening, so now fix it through:

• Writing and saying out loud your own affirmations that specifically address that memory or thought:  for example: even though my sister screamed "I hate you" when I was a child, I know she loves me, the world loves me and I love myself. Just an example.
• Visualising the same memory taking place with a different outcome, a happy outcome. Or, visualise that memory being sucked into a vacuum cleaner, and let it go.  
• Incorporate these into your daily routines, such as your meditation, to chip away at the blockages every day bit by bit. 

Essentially, this enables you to customise your routine - your affirmations, visualisations - so that they are specifically suited to address YOU.

I'm sure there are other formal techniques that help to remove mental blockages and I'll share them as I go along :)

Approaching this logically by writing down emotions and working backwards to see where they're coming from worked really well for me in identifying particular painpoints from my past that were holding me back today.

Right now, amidst the feeling that great change is about to come. I'm actually excited to get the trash out of my mind properly and see what this strange quarter-life crisis brings - and yes I'm also afraid, because I don't know what it will bring.

But I'd rather find out, than to live in fear and never know. 

If you've ever felt similarly, gone through similar phases, I'd love to hear your thoughts. We can work together to get through our deepest insecurities and succeed - I truly believe that.

Til' next time, and with Love!

A. x

The Stories Behind the Names

Hey guys,

I hope you've had a brilliant week!

So a bit of a different post today - this time about a personal breakthrough I'm really grateful for.

Ever since I was a teenager, I've always struggled with hierarchy.  I don't know if it's a result of my Asian upbringing; or of being the chubby shy kid at the bottom of the socially constructed 'popularity ladder' at high school; or, of that sense that as a 'small brown girl', I was in some way made to believe I was a disadvantaged minority, privileged to be amongst those who were really in power.

Whatever it was, I used to find it really hard to connect with people who had a sense of authority or power over me - or whom I felt were 'better' than me. I would be eager to please. Keen to impress. I changed my personality with the desire to win their approval, to win their validation. I became sweet and obliging and timid - and forgot myself in the process.

appliedalliance.wordpress.com

Over time I made progress, but when I moved overseas last year, I felt as though I had taken a big step backwards - I craved approval in a society that was different to mine, in surroundings that weren't home, in situations that were constantly challenging and alien.

Don't get me wrong - I had the opportunity to meet some of the most brilliant people in the world and develop close friendships - my classmates were incredibly accomplished and driven people. I even had a chance to meet some of my biggest role models in person -  Jacqueline Novogratz; as well as Ratan Tata and Joseph Stiglitz, amongst others.

But the underlying thread across all of my interactions in the last 8 months, and for that matter a large portion of my earlier life, was a feeling that I was not quite 'up to par' - and this shaped my behaviour, the things I said, the way I acted around the people I met. I still remember being breathlessly in awe of Novogratz in the elevator, to the point where nothing I was asking her made any sense at all, as I blurted out a jumbled mix of words that were barely coherent.

 p-desai1215-dc.blogspot.com

Professors, accomplished colleagues, the rich and the famous  - I felt a need to change who I was around them. And I didn't realise this until I started noticing the way some of my own friends interacted with very same 'big-shot' people - they around them in the same way they acted around me. They felt no need to to put on a facade, they felt no nervousness in asking direct questions, curious questions, and breaking through the boundary of unfamiliarity.

One night, I walked home in the rain with one of these friends  and we ended up in a coffee shop at midnight, chatting after volunteering at a big conference event. I told her I had always been in awe of her ability to interact so freely and openly with anyone and everyone - in exactly the same way, regardless of their achievements, fame, or fortunes. I asked her how she did it, and I still remember her response:

"They're just people at the end of the day, A. Do you really think Ratan Tata likes being idolised or likes being mobbed? He's a human being and he just wants to connect with others - the same way you and I do. He is just as curious about you as you are about him. So when you sit down and talk to someone as though they are 'real', it makes a big difference. Just try it.  

I've never seen one person as being different from the other - we really all the same at the end of the day.".

 

Dnms in a NYC coffee shop at night - only good things can result.

nycprgirls.com

Something about what she said that night resonated so deeply with me that for the next few weeks, I became acutely aware of the way I interacted with people. And it was true - for all my talk about equality, I was not demonstrating it in my own human interactions. The confident and friendly manner I had around a barista, disappeared around a Professor, as I warped into a submissive people-pleaser. Not only did this realisation appear to strike painfully at the core of my beliefs, but it also revealed a plethora of other issues I needed to address, the core ones being:

• Why did I need this external validation, from a so called 'higher source'? What was I looking for from others, that I couldn't give myself?
• Did I internally have some sort of 'ranking system', some sort of discriminatory lens that placed a higher value on certain people over others? What defined my interpretation of this value? Fame? Money? Power?
• Did I not believe that I too could be capable of achieving great success? Hero-worshiping is indicative of limiting self-perceptions - a 'them vs me' mentality, that is loaded with the belief that "I may never reach the impossible heights that they have". It builds a mental barrier between what I am capable of, and what I think I deserve. Not good, and not okay. 

These questions prompted a lot of soul-searching. Around the same time, I started noticing references to this topic everywhere. One of my Professors one day told us:  

"What do real change-makers do, that enable them to be bold? They think horizontally - they forget the vertical lines of hierarchy, and they see everyone as the same."

We all have to stop doing this.

leadershipheretic.com

It must have all seeped into my head - or perhaps being aware of my behaviour enabled me to also subsconsciously change it. 

When I came to Indonesia for my internship, I could still hear my friend's words in my mind. And one day I had the confidence to walk into my Country Director's office and just ask for a coffee chat. Not to network, not to ask him for work even. But just to talk, and see who he was a person. We ended up talking for 2 hours and he has since become one of my biggest role models.

When I started seeing people as people, and not as roles or positions or labels, my whole experience of human interaction changed. You ask people questions, you discover where their passions lie, what they care about, why they do what they do - and suddenly, nothing else really matters.

Of course, another aspect of this change was probably the re-introduction of my daily routines like meditation, which helped me to regain control of my world of emotions and build inner strength.

But I  guess what I'm trying to say is this - a whole new world has opened up for me since I changed the way I viewed people. A world often hidden by societal constructs, assumptions and snap judgements.

findyourtriessence.com

This also feels good because the way I act now, is more in tune with the values I want to stand for. And the personal stories I have heard as a result? AMAZING.  They range from incredible to heart-breaking to purely inspirational. The one thing I've learnt then, the hard way, is this - whoever they are, people just want to be heard.

So to that friend who taught me to treat people as people and  not as 'things', not as achievements, position titles or dollar signs, thank you - I think you may just have changed my world.

What do you think? Have you ever noticed this behaviour in yourself? Have you ever found yourself subconsciously changing who you are in certain situations for certain people, and if you have, why? Do you think it's okay, or do you think this needs to change? As always, I would love to hear from you.

Til' next time! Stay fulfilled.

Love,
A. x

Into the Land of Hippies and Happiness

Hey guys,

I hope you've had an amazing week!

So I've discovered something really cool over the last few days - as I mentioned, I started re-instating a lot of the small routines in my life again and it feels super nice.

So while I was reading up on affirmations one day, I also stumbled across a few other interesting techniques that I found totally fascinating:

1) EFT tapping (this guy is awesome): http://www.youtube.com/user/eftwizard

 

www.healwithhope.com

2) Chakra meditation:

Yes I know, I probably sound a little cuckoo now - because we're generally socially-programmed to shut out anything that isn't physically tangible or defies human logic and rationality. But hear me out - I think I learnt something really important from both of these practices.

Both approaches involve analyzing the physical body for tension and pain, and linking that to strengthening your emotional peace - your internal world.

EFT healing involves tapping repeatedly on your pressure points while saying positive affirmations; and chakra meditation is a lot to do with visualising chakras in your body while 'healing' them - each chakra relates to certain emotions and personality tendencies.

I tried both practices, keeping an open mind and just being curious to see what would happen. And yes, they worked - for me. But what fascinated me was this: I could clearly see a link between physical pain and ailments, and emotional issues or thoughts. There were some instances in which I could feel negative thoughts physically as tightness in my neck for instance; and the replacement of these thoughts led to immediate (temporary) physical relief.

I'm not here to argue whether these techniques are merely an act of placebo, or whether they have scientific basis - but I do want to say this: they reaffirmed my belief that our thoughts do determine the quality of our life experience.

www.makeitsomindset.com

So everyone goes through some rough times, and there have been instances when I handled them horribly - victimising myself and wallowing in self-pity; and more recently, there have been instances when I handled these events with acceptance and faith. In both instances, the events that took place sucked - but my experience of the events were vastly different. When I chose to focus on the positive, I viewed the event as one component of an otherwise beautiful life, and a learning experience; and when I chose to focus on the negative, my entire experience of life turned dark and painful - and this manifested physically as well, in the form of chest pains and digestive issues.


Our mind is strange, because its personality is largely determined by what it focuses on. Remember that example of how when you become aware of a certain type of car for instance, you see it everywhere, even when you never noticed its existence before?

Awareness: the all-famous ball-passing gorilla-suit video.

Looking back, it's so clear to me that my choice to simply focus on the positive or focus on the negative, determined the magnitude of external events in my life - the weight they had in determining the rest of my choices, and the rest of my life.

Which means then, that our Fate is actually well and truly in our hands - and most of us simply do not realise it.  There have been so many inspiring stories of people who have overcome unfathomable pain to soar to great heights of success - and we look at them and say: "If only".

www.pinterest.com

Because it's easier not to accept responsibility for our lives. It's easier to blame God or other people -when really, we have a choice. Taking ownership for our lives and the way it is - is really freaking hard. But we have a choice to be magnificent.

So I'd really like to stop copping out, and start exercising that choice - starting with taking care of my thoughts. Just take a few minutes even now and notice - what sort of thoughts are filling your mind? Is the flavour of your mind depressing and or is it empowering and warm and fuzzy?
Take a moment and observe how you speak to yourself. For instance, I know I tend to be very self-critical - but it wasn't until I re-started my routines recently, that I realised how negative my mind had become. At one point, I found myself listening to my thoughts and could not believe what I was hearing - we would never verbally abuse another person with a barrage of criticism, so why do we do it to ourselves?

 

What's the flavour of your mind?

mumslovejug.com

So for the next week and like the next 50 years, I really want to focus on my own mind - on keeping it positive and healthy. And one way I want to do this is to also be aware of any physical pains I am experiencing - you know, those sudden stabs of tightness in your neck, or your constricted chest - what's causing this? What's stressing me out, or what am I holding onto from my past that is still affecting me and my life?

I found meditation and affirmations, as well as the techniques I mentioned above to be extremely empowering (and fun!) - for you, it could well be something else.

If we start with healing our thoughts, I truly think we will be astounded to see who we become - as our emotions change, our outlooks and personalities strengthen and our choices become more powerful. This is so exciting!

So what techniques what will you do to cleanse your mind and stay grounded, radiant and powerful?

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As always, I would love to hear from you!

Til' next time and with Love,
A. x

P.S - here are some of my favourite affirmation videos and meditation recordings, I hope they come in useful:

1) Morning Meditation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0EQEiecSxs
2) As you sleep: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mu0qSI0rmws
3) Affirmations: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UL-ZRHGh5Qo

Why the Morning Routine Matters - Like Really Matters.

Hey guys!

So I think I'm going to get back into blogging regularly.

And I'll tell you why - it's because in the last few weeks, I've realised how important, how fundamental this concept of discipline is in our lives.

The last 8 months of my life since I moved abroad, have been crazy, intense, exhilarating, devastating, magical and stupendous - all those things, mostly at the same time. Which is fine, totally fine - it's fine for life to be kinda mental and unpredictable, that's what makes it Life and that's what makes it amazing. But what's not okay, is for our inner state to also be kinda mental and unpredictable. That's not cool.

 

When I moved away from home, I stopped following my daily routine. You know, the kinda corny one, where I'd wake up an hour early, meditate, read positive affirmations, do some yoga and yes, tell myself 'I love you' to the mirror, finishing off with a cup of warm water and a healthy breakfast.

Big deal right? What do these little rituals matter anyway?

Well, actually they matter a fair bit. The truth of the matter is, this hour of strange and wonderful activities in the morning was more than a routine. It was my slice of control.

Backtrack a little - crazy shit happens. We make plans and we blow wishes into the wind hoping for the best. Hoping for what we want - but sometimes Life takes a detour or sometimes something else is written in our destinies. If it's one thing I've learnt in the last few years, it's this - life is unpredictable, but YOU don't have to be. If you can be stable within yourself, steadfast in sticking to your goals and your values, then you can handle anything the world throws at you.

 

yourstrulyabrielle.wordpress.com

And that's where routine comes in. Self-regulated routines set the foundation for our inner strength. We have very little control over the external events that take place around us or occur to us. But we have total dominion over ourselves and the way we react to what happens around us. And this one level of control, this one remote control switch we have, this is enough. This is enough to determine the rest of our lives - it's the power of choice all over again. And exercising that choice, is totally under our control.

The power of our choices - beginning when the alarm goes off!

Without that 1 hour in the morning during which I centered myself and began the day on my terms, within a few months, I was feeling like everything was out of control. I felt overwhelmed, stressed and hassled - and I was irritable and not really the type of person I wanted to be.

So I learnt this - never under-estimate the power of your choice to stick to a routine - because your small daily choices build up over time to shape your daily moods, your actions, your personality, your character and eventually, your outcomes and experience of life.

So here I am again, 8 months later, almost full-circle, re-establishing all those seemingly unimportant routines I used to follow a year ago. And you know what - it feels awesome. It feels like I'm back in the driver's seat, and the morning has become my domain, my kingdom. And when you start the day feeling like that, you inevitably carry that vibe forward throughout the day. Over a few weeks, you feel the difference.


So if there's been something you used to do that made your day kinda special, and if it's slipped off your plate - re-establish it starting today. It may seem silly and unimportant at first, but the choice to adhere to your routine, is the choice to take control and to take responsibility for most important aspect of your life - your experience of it. It is the first step to self-leadership and I've had to realise it the hard way.

 

www.queenpersona.com

So what self-improving, self-nourishing routine will you re-establish today?

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts - maybe we can help keep each other accountable ;)

Til' next time!

A. x

A visit by an old Friend

Hey guys,

I think it's been a good year since I last wrote in this blog. So much has changed that I can't even begin to quantify it.

So what I will talk about is this - when I read my last blogpost, I see someone young but so certain. So certain that the way she is, is the right way and the way she will continue to be. 

And then she moved away from home.

And that's when I realised that who I thought I was as an individual, was actually a culmination of everything I had built around me over the last two decades at home. My family, my friends, my job, my city. My identity was intertwined with these things. I was safe as long as I had these things, because I had let myself be defined by them. 

When I left these things behind, I didn't really know who I was. I didn't really know what to hold onto, except for the one Dream I was chasing that had led me overseas in the first place.

I realised that back home, my sense of self-worth was externally derived. I didn't deal with my problems in life - I let my friends and family deal with them. I didn't support myself, my friends and family did. So reliant had I grown on external validation, that when I had to start life on my own, I didn't know where to begin. How would I inspire myself, support myself, love myself - when I couldn't see this around me?

#1 - So the first thing I realised was that I had been living in a bubble of artificial self-confidence for much of my life - a bubble sustained by external validation more so than genuine internal appreciation.

www.volkerballueder.com

#2 - Secondly, in the absence of home and everyone I knew and loved, I realised that I was a vastly different individual to who I thought I naturally was. I had been brought up a certain way, or I had been indoctrinated by certain ways of thinking that suddenly it seemed like my values and beliefs were changing - when in fact, they were simply emerging uncoloured and untinted for the first time.

When I started this blog, I thought there was an endpoint I was striving towards. A perfect person I would strive to be and one day I would look in the mirror and that person would be staring back at me and that would be that.

But the reality is, you, me, we're more complex than that. Chasing after self-perfection is like chasing after a rainbow. This is an iterative journey and it won't end. The deeper we dive into finding out who we really are and what we really want out of life, the more layers will emerge. The concept of 'I' is multi-faceted.

I talked a year back about leaving your comfort zone - I know now that what we are really leaving behind when we do that, is the illusionary sense of security we have built for ourselves. We attach our identity to that which is around us, because we are scared to know what is really within us and who we really are, and what we really want.


So let go of yourself - let go of your labels and leave your comfort zone. Because they don't mean a thing - move into life with a blank slate every morning, ready to accept what you discover about yourself. Who are you really, when you strip away the noise of society, the colourings of your upbringing, the safety of your friends, your job, your achievements? 

 

 ThoughtQuestions.com

That's what I'm trying to figure out now - and it has impacted my choices in life, my attitude, my character and my outlook. My aim is to learn to build an inner strength and sense of self-belief that is not derived from others, but from myself. And that will largely involve accepting myself for who I am without expecting myself to be a certain way because of what others expect of me.

Here's what I can share has helped me along the process:
#1 - Spend time with yourself everyday, doing something you love or even just meditating. Get to know yourself
#2 - When you come across a problem, don't run to your family or friends immediately. Ask yourself what you want first - and be brutally honest.
#3 - Learn to be your own support system - for me, meditation, exercise and affirmations helped to build a sense of inner-strength and positivity. What methods can you use to be your own cheerleader?

The amazing thing about leaving your comfort zone and finding your 'new' self one piece at a time, is that some pieces of the old you fall away (which is scary) - but some pieces remain. And it's those pieces you hold onto. I realised for instance that I wasn't so strongly attached to a certain religion. And I also realised that my passion for my Dreams had only grown stronger through thick and thin, and this became my pillar of Faith and strength throughout this process of self-regeneration. This passion is my 'religion' now, an internally driven motivator - so it's one I want to strengthen further to be more self-sufficient and to be more strong within myself.

I'm not sure if this is even quite making sense, but as always, I would love to hear your thoughts. How has your perception of your self changed over time, and what new things are you discovering about yourself as you venture out of your comfort zone? <3.
 
Til next time!

Love,
A. x

The Power of Choice.

Hey guys!

It's so great to be back and I hope you've had a really beautiful couple of months.

So, straight to it - I thought I'd write about stability today. Its a super-relevant topic, because my own life is about to undergo a big change and I've been observing my behaviour closely.

As it starts to set in for me that I will be moving away from everyone and everything I know, I've found myself experiencing a range of emotions from absolute trepidation, to adrenaline, to excitement, to confusion - but lastly, to feeling as though the ground beneath my feet is falling away.

I'm starting to feel a bit like a boat that had been anchored at a port for years, only to suddenly lose that anchor and float away into the unknown - a big black ocean of 'what's going to happen next?'.

http://bluewavearts.ie/little-boat-on-a-big-ocean/

I realised, as I met up with some friends for the last time, that underlying our human existence, is this complex interplay of opposing forces. In this case, the desire to live a stable and secure life, where everything is known to you, faces are familiar, routines are set; versus the desire for excitement, adventure, new discoveries and change.

I wondered if my life until this point had been a result of the interaction of these forces - each competing to supersede the other. For two decades, my innate desire for stability, security and comfort, had outweighed a niggling and growing desire to discover something new. But in recent years, this desire for adventure took the forefront and is now and truly in control.

The human psyche is fascinating. On one hand, we yearn comfort; on the other hand, we chase after Dreams. When we are in comfort, our minds are possessed by our Dreams; and when we put everything on the line for our Dreams, suddenly at the back of our mind, an echo of that desire to be 'safe' rings out.

ephmeralnightmare.blogspot.com 

So I guess then, that our Life, the course it takes, and our experience of it, comes down to choice. To choosing discovery and risk, over safety and security. To choosing passion, over 'this will do'. To choosing to accept pain, failure and heartbreak, rather than to accept routine and predictability.

So as we make our choices, our Life unfolds on a Path based on that choice. Which really means we have a million different Paths before us, and which way we go comes down to how prepared we are to accept the bad and live through the pain, before we get to the good.

This is a liberating thought - because it means we define the limits of our capability. The CHOICE is completely ours.

Which also means the responsibility for a decision we take, is ours to own.

There's something really beautiful about Life, and that is that it responds and shapes itself around our decisions and our willingness to listen very closely to what we really want, and go after it.

So having written all of that, starting with stability, ending in choice - I guess I can say, I'm not as afraid. Because what really do we have to be afraid of? The moment we realise that we dictate the terms of our life, that we dictate what sort of Life we want to lead, there is nothing more empowering.

So perhaps then, I was hugely mistaken - my desire for adventure didn't simply supersede my desire for comfort and security - at some point, I made a conscious decision and I became ready to live with the consequences. So our nature isn't defined by the constant push and pull of desires - a desire for safety, versus a desire for something new - but rather, the defining moments in our Lives are when we reveal our true nature - and that is when we make a choice between competing desires, and commit to it.

Our true nature reveals itself then, when we realise that we set the bar for ourselves and we decide if we're willing to do what it takes to reach, and surpass it.

With every decision, we are responding to these questions -

How big are we willing to let our lives expand? What limits have we set ourselves? And how ready are we to redefine the those limits and let Life change?

What a revelation! I've really missed this!

And as always, I'd love to hear what you think.

Til' next time,

Peace & Love,
A.

Be back in June! :-)

A is for Assertiveness...

Hey guys,

I hope you've been having an amazing few weeks!

I lost my writing mojo for a while there and I'm not entirely sure if it's back, but I guess we'll see. So here goes...

The last few weeks have been intense, crazy, difficult, testing...ups and downs, big highs and big lows...but having been through all of it, I feel like I've really changed as a person, in many different ways.

So I'll start with the first thing that comes to mind - Assertiveness.

You know, I always thought being 'assertive' was a negative thing. But really, it's not  - it's about staking claim to what is rightfully yours.

I was raised in a spiritual, soft-spoken family, and our way of dealing with conflict was to avoid it. If there was something we wanted that would inconvenience another person, we learnt to do without. Not that there's anything wrong with that - it's beautiful in its own way.

Over the last few years however, I've had this internal struggle raging within me - between the way I was raised and who I am becoming now. It's an 'identity clash' in a sense. As I learn more about the world, I find that I am creating my own path for myself and re-defining my personality - and this is sometimes at odds with 'Old Me'.

Anyway I digress. The point is, I had a preconditioned concept of assertiveness in my mind, as being equivalent to 'aggressive', 'pushy' and 'inconsiderate'.

What this meant for me, was that if there was something I wanted and I knew was rightfully mine, I would still struggle to ask for it. If for instance, someone gave me the wrong amount of change for a coffee, I would rationalise this within my mind as "Oh that's okay, it's only 2 dollars, let it be". And I would walk away.

Or, if someone had committed to providing a service to me that I had paid for, I would hesitate to follow up if they were late. And if the service wasn't up to the mark, I would lie anyway and tell them it was absolutely fantastic.

This mentality seeped through to all facets of my life - including relationships and work. I would struggle to point out when I believed my supervisor was being unfair. I would simply 'put up' with remarks that offended me or hurt me, never telling the other person how it made me feel - even if it was a close friend.

Underlying all of this, I guess was a fear of being disliked by others. A fear, that if I shared how I really felt, if I really stood up for myself, people wouldn't like it and they would step away. Again, there wasn't enough 'self-love' within me, so I was searching for the constant approval of those external to me. What resulted, was a 'facade' which morphed to suit the expectations of the people I was around, leaving the real, and very awesome, Me, hidden.

Well over the last few weeks, the lightbulb finally went off and I realised something - there is absolutely nothing wrong with being assertive. There is nothing wrong with asking for what is rightfully yours. For sharing how you feel. For being honest and straightforward with others.

In other words, there is nothing wrong with looking out for your best interests. 

Because all those years of putting myself second had simply worn me out. And it held me back from being the 'Ideal Me'.

If you don't take care of your own interests, then who will? If you're not happy, then how can you possibly bring happiness to anyone else?

www.smallesttribe.com 

Of course there is a fine line between assertiveness and just plain aggressive. But the distinction is this - when you are assertive, you truly know you are doing something for your best interests, out of LOVE for yourself. Not selfish love. But Love love. The kind that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

When you cross that line and become aggressive and imposing, you know that your insecurities are playing up and your Ego has gotten involved.

It's a balancing act - but I'm learning to sit within the 'Assertive' zone more comfortably now. Things have changed, and I now speak my mind. I give feedback honestly. I go and ask for what I want.

www.tallistraining.co.uk 

And the funny thing is, my relationships have actually improved. I was so worried that if I put myself first, I would alienate people. But the fact is, I feel closer to the people in my closest circle now. And more than anything else, I'm proud of myself. I'm proud that I don't just 'put up with things'. I'm proud that I have my own back now. 

Because that's what it means to be Assertive.

Of course, I'm still ironing out the creases on this one. But I can honestly say - the feeling of going and claiming what you want, out of a genuine love for yourself, is one of the most empowering feelings in the world.

What do you think? What's your experience with assertiveness? How has it changed your life and your relationship with people?

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Til' next time!(Damn it feels good to write again)

Peace & Love,
A.

The two D's

Hey guys,

I hope you had an awesome week!

Remember that article I wrote last time about 'Maktub', and about believing that there are truly some things that we have no control over?

I've figured something else out, that is kind of on a similar vein. And it's about Discipline.

On face value, Discipline and Destiny are hardly two words you imagine together in a sentence, right?

But since I recently started work again, I've realised how deeply important and correlated these two 'D-words' really are.

www.searchquotes.com 

For four months late last year, I took a break from everything, and every morning I decided what I would do each day. Within a week,  I tired of the lack of structure, and I decided to turn everything I wanted to achieve in my 4 months off, into a routine. So I built up this amazing daily routine, that consisted of waking up on the right note, meditating, affirmations, exercise, healthy and portion-controlled eating, 8 cups of water, vitamin tablets, etc.

Then I found a job. And my system suddenly jolted and said - "but wait, what happens to all those things I did before, that really meant a lot to me?". Good point system, good point.

So this time, I was determined that I would maintain 'work-life balance' - that I wouldn't let the 8 hours I spent at work, dictate how I felt about the day. And to keep positive and motivated about every day, I needed to maintain that awesome routine I had set up.

It was really hard the first few weeks. I had to force myself to wake up an hour early to meditate. I had to spend a solid 10 minutes every night logically explaining to myself why I needed to 'reflect' on the day.

And then I noticed something.

Every time I caved in and didn't do something that was on my routine, I felt horrible. But why? So what if I didn't exercise this morning? So what if I didn't take my vitamins? Big deal!

Well actually, yeah, it is a big deal. Because every time I lacked the discipline to do something I knew was in my best interests, I felt like fundamentally Life was that little bit more out of my control.

Then I realised - discipline gave me control of ME. Because that really is all I can control. I can't decide what happens to me, but I can decide how I behave and how I react - which in turn determines my character.

When I lack the discipline to do something, I am in a sense, relinquishing what little control I do have, over the most important determinant of happiness in my life - Myself. And it sends signals to my mind that I don't value myself enough to do something that means so much to me. This goes to the next level of how our mind works - beyond what we tell ourselves, and into how we act.

So if I truly want to become the Best Me, then I need to do more than tell myself that. I need to prove to myself that I am willing to sacrifice 2 minutes of comfort, to put in the hard work now and invest in myself for the long-term.

                                                 


Every time I have stuck to my routine, more than anything else, I have felt like I am in control. On those days, no matter what the day threw at me, I felt I could get through it.

So then, discipline is more than our parents coming into our room at 6 am and yelling at us to wake up. It is about control. It is about feeling powerful within the domain of our Life that we do have a say in - our Self. It's kind of like, if our boat is strong and steadfast, it can weather through anything the ocean throws at it. The ocean part being 'Maktub'. And more often than not, it takes us where we need to be, beyond our realm of control.

I remember reading somewhere, that the most successful people in the world, who lead unpredictable and exciting lives, come back home to a routine. It is how they gain a sense of control and strength. That article now makes so much sense to me.  

Destiny expands for those who are courageous and committed enough to expand themselves. So the next time you want to procrastinate on the things that really do matter to you, make yourself remember the 2 D's and RECLAIM your power over your Self.

Hardcore workouts, here we come!

Til' next time,
A.

MAKTUB

Hey guys,

I've missed writing my heart out over the last week! So I'm really glad to be back.

This week, I feel like writing about something a bit more abstract - the concept of 'Destiny' and 'Choice'.

I've had a lot of moments over the last 2 weeks, that have made me stand back in awe, as I realised how limited my power was over the outcome of certain events; and how interconnected all the little moments and meetings have been, to bring me to where I am now.

Over the last couple of months, I felt like every 'chance' meeting I had with a friend had a deeper purpose; and every intentional meeting, had a even bigger message for me to listen to.

And it gets even creepier - even the thoughts I think, sometimes feel like they've been put there to make me do something, or to instigate an action that will eventually produce an outcome that I was 'meant' to go through.

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Examples -

wilbau.blogspot.com

I 'randomly' chose to travel to Vietnam at the end of last year. Even I cannot explain to you why I chose to just pack my bags on such short notice and go on a trip, nor can I explain why I chose that country (its beauty notwithstanding). I felt a strong urge to go there, and I did....

And, it was one of the best trips of my Life. I learnt things there and met just the right sort of people on my tour there, that eventually enabled me to build a stronger level of 'street smartness', a renewed level of confidence in myself and my decision-making, and an strong sense of  'I'm just going to be myself no matter what people think'......

And ever since I got back, I've noticed that I've become a much more open and gutsier person. Which in turn led to me starting this blog, again on a whim. Because at that moment, I felt like it. This blog, has taught me things that have changed me forever....

But more importantly, it has helped me to connect with people on a whole new level, and some precious friendships have formed as a result. As I explore these friendships, I realise I have a role to play in their lives as they strive to build organisations and reach for their goals, and they have a certain role to play in mine.....

I met up with one such friend, and he introduced me to a fascinating self-development course. I ended up going to one night of that course, and there I met some amazing people, including the speaker, who made me realise that perhaps a lot of the disagreements I was having with my parents, were a result of my own obstinacy and internal prejudices.....

So I went home that week and I worked on arguing less with my parents, and seeing things from their point of view. As I did that, I realised what their concerns were about me, and started to see them as people, not just 'parents'. As a result, I took my Dad for a walk one evening and had an honest talk....

From that talk, I understood why my parents wanted me to find a job before I left overseas to study, and I decided to apply for one position, just one more time. On this last attempt, I found a contract role. And already, I've found a friend there, who says I have entered her life at just the right time....

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And it goes on - like a perfectly painted series of strokes that build into a larger picture.

Why did I choose to go to Vietnam? Circumstances had built up at that point, and suddenly that urge entered my mind, and it seemed right at that moment.

So now the big question - how much of this, and how much of my Life is a consequence of my free will, and my personal choices, and how much of it is really part of a greater, epic plan?

Do I think all my thoughts, or are certain thoughts and inclinations 'implanted' within me, to set me on the path that I was destined to walk? Is there such thing as a coincidence, or is every meeting, every moment, every brush with a stranger, even every glance where our eyes meet with someone on the street - is all of this already written, with a purpose?

As I write this, I remember a heated debate I had with another friend on the same topic. I argued that our passions ultimately show us what our purpose is in life and in the world, and that everyone is 'born to do something'. He argued that we choose our passions, and we choose how much we are willing to put into achieving our goals - and it is solely our choices that create our future.

As much as I wanted to agree, I found myself referring back to that concept of 'Maktub', mentioned in the Alchemist (A must read!!). That everything is written in a deep place beyond our grasp and our limited understanding. And the more I grow, the more I believe every choice or decision I make leads me to a pre-written destiny.

Or it could even work like this - maybe our choices determine which prewritten path we are going to travel? Like I think some of us consciously choose not to chase after certain dreams. And in doing this, are these people exercising their choice and free will and creating a new destiny for themselves, or is that decision not to pursue a goal, also predetermined?

redbubble.com

Wow, my head is getting seriously warped just reading this.

But the real question here I guess, is, why does it matter?

It matters to me, because believing that everything is interconnected and pre-destined, gives me a sense of deep Peace. Don't get me wrong, a lot of people think that believing in Destiny means not believing in yourself and your own power.
I argue that it is in fact the opposite- I believe in myself, as a small part of a greater whole, a greater whole which has designed a limitless Life for me. I believe I am a part of that whole, and that greatness is a part of me, and you and everyone else.
Every decision I make, which is in line with my truest Heart desires and my gut instinct (this is the important part here), leads me towards an ultimate destiny that has been drawn out for me by the part of me that is limitless.

So having faith in my gut instinct, and believing in myself completely, and then leaving the outcome of events up to 'Destiny' - that keeps me centred. That makes me realise that I have the power to make a choice to put in 100% determination and my absolute best into every task I perform. I have the power to choose to be courageous and go with my gut instinct even when it is really really hard. And then, the results of that task or action, enter a sphere where I have no influence. So then whatever happens, I will try to accept - I'll tell myself it was meant to happen, to teach me something and move me towards realising my ultimate potential and Destiny.

 

But more than anything else, when I sit back and consider how perfectly things fall into place, it makes me appreciate the beauty of Life.

I know I know, it's a bit airy-fairy, quite abstract, and probably to a lot of people, absolute rubbish.

But I'm keen on hearing YOUR views on this topic. In no way do I think my perspective on this is the only way, or the right way. It is simply what works best for me - for now. 

So what about you? Are you reading this post now, because you chose to, or because you were brought here to? Did you stumble upon it quite by chance? Or is there a message in here that was meant to reach you?

Til' next time guys!

Peace & Love,

A.

Finding meaning at the water-cooler

Hey guys!

Keeping this one short and sweet.

I've been experimenting the last couple of weeks, with the concept of 'small talk'.

I always used to snicker to myself when someone invited me to networking events - what's the point? I used to ask. You get 30 seconds with each person, in which you exchange pleasantries and put on an air, and then move on.

And likewise in other situations - why do I have to go downstairs and chat with this Aunty? Should I say something to the barista while she's making my coffee? But what's the point?

Well, I figured something out last year - and that was that, talking is one of the most tangible and powerful ways of connecting with other human beings.

And I was shying away from it. I only valued those 'deep-and-meaningfuls' with the people closest to me, and I treated those fleeting moments of conversation with strangers or acquaintances as a waste of time.

www.cartoonstock.com

But slowly, I've realised that small talk, the type that comes from your heart and is direct and genuine, can really lay the foundation of building longer term friendships and relationships. If not that, at the very least it can make someone's day.

I remember walking down the street one day being really upset about something, when someone came up to me and said: "Excuse me! Do you have a spare smile that I could borrow?".

It MADE my day. And I still remember those precious few words from a stranger, that were uttered so many years ago.

Moments like that, just re-affirm that which we forget so easily sometimes - that we really are all connected, all the same, all wanting the same things, all seeking smiles and love. Moments like that, make the world a better place.

And so I've resolved to stop being so silent, so averse to small-talk, so afraid of what the other person might think or how he/she may react. You know it's crazy, we're so unaccustomed to feeling kindness or hearing caring words from a stranger, that we don't even know how to react sometimes, and that gap between us and 'everyone else' just widens.

I've been trying this out the last few months - I'll smile at someone on the street, and there is a moment of absolute surprise, followed (generally) by a warm smile back. The other day, I devoured the most delicious Turkish gozleme, and I told myself that its maker deserved to know how delicious it was. I was scared as I was walking back to the shop, because she was an older, tired-looking, no-nonsense woman. But I went up and told her anyway - "That was the most amazing gozleme I have ever had!" I squeaked. She looked at me, suprised, and then smiled shyly, as I scurried off. But I felt awesome, and I think she did too.

What I didn't realise before, is that small-talk doesn't necessarily have to be mundane - it can be sweet, and caring and even impactful. And it actually makes your day, more so than it does anybody else's. Because it reinforces the thread that runs through all of us, and that feeling is pretty special.

Since I've changed my view about little facet of life, I've found that the conversations I have, even with acquaintances, are more meaningful, and almost always cut straight through to things like: "what are we going to do with our lives?".

So I'm enjoying this! And I really want to be better at it. I want to be able to strike up a conversation in any situation, with anyone.

Because now I am convinced that any two people can have a common ground, and I'm determined to prove it.

So guys, how about this - what if we each committed to reaching out to one 'stranger' every day? Whether it be paying a receptionist a compliment while you wait to be interviewed; or getting to know your baristas; or saying 'Hi' and giving someone a big smile in the tea-room, even though you have no idea who they are.

Who knows where it could lead us.

www.fvquotes.com

And if you're keen to read more on this, check out Dale Carnegie's classic, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People', which has been an enduring source of inspiration for me.

As always, let me know what you think :)

Til' next time!

Peace & Love,
A.

One-woman island

Hi guys!

I realised something quite amazing this week.

You know that quote, 'every man (or woman) is an island?'.

I used to think of myself like that. I used to think I was just a solitary person, floating in the middle of the sea, occasionally coming into contact with other beings, learning to interact, and then floating right back out alone.

Hence those moments where I would completely withdraw into myself, or moments where I would struggle to communicate honestly with another person. Or those moments I would feel like packing my bags and flying away to a distant country where I could be alone. Finally.

I used to think that's what Life was. There's ME and there's the WORLD, and they're both separate entities that occasionally butt heads, and I just have to put up with these clashes before I can get back to myself.

My Old World View.

Dem Paint Skills.

But I realised this week, that I have been kidding myself.

I used to take so much pride in being 'independent' and 'self-sufficient' - but all this time, I had defined these terms to be: the ability and the preference to be alone.

And that meant being a 'closed book'. That meant having a 'Me' versus 'everyone else' mentality - an internal world of Me, and an external world of everyone else. That meant being careful not to share my weaknesses or my fears with the world, and dealing with things on my own.

I had tricked myself into thinking that this was strength.

But I realised this week, that real inner strength, is retaining one's independence and self-sufficiency while being a part of  the world.

Because all this time, I used to sweep my insecurities and fears under the carpet and present a polished version of me to the world, while telling myself that I could deal with the issues I had hidden away on my own, later. This created a double-identity  - a 'Me' that I was when I was alone, the 'Real Me'; and the 'Me' that came across to others.

As I've been writing this blog, I've noticed that I feel stronger now sharing my real thoughts with honesty and letting the world see what goes on 'behind the veneer', than I ever was before when I was pretending that everything was 100% okay all the time.

And the moment I started sharing, it created a new dimension of interaction with people, that I had never experienced before. Suddenly, I saw an underlying connection running through all of us. Every frustration, change, or transformation I experienced and shared, led to rich and special conversations with people who had always been a part of my life. Yet I had never thought to talk at this level with them before. And it struck me that - wow we all really are in this together.

So suddenly, I am okay with being an imperfect person, doing special things. Being a human, with superhuman dreams. Being an ordinary girl, with extraordinary passion. I'm okay with you reading this, because slowly I'm learning, that true inner strength, is not hiding away in a fortress all alone and being there for yourself - it's standing outside amidst a wild raging storm, and having your own back, no matter what. Inner strength is not about locking yourself away and building 2 worlds - one for you and one for everyone else. It's about being a part of the world, the Universe, this big crazy theatre production that is our shared experience of Life, and still being 100% YOU, no matter what.

Several things triggered this realisation this week - I went to watch 'Life of Pi' with a dear friend of mine (such a beautiful movie!). And then I had this amazing conversation with someone close to my heart, and I realised I was giving people 'perfect little tidbits' of me, afraid to share the full story. That got me thinking.

http://www.mamamia.com

Having said all of this, I will still 'work the Trust Flow' (http://j2self.blogspot.com.au/2012/12/the-art-of-trust.html). I will still decide who I can trust with what information. But I will also start being more real, especially around the people I know I can trust. And I will start being more honest about the things that worry me or scare me. Because there is power in admitting to one's fears and flaws, and not allowing that to define one's identity or actions.  

What this all means also, is that I will be less fearful now of what people think of me. I am free to be this crazy, wacky, hippie person that I am at home, around everyone. And if you like it, great. If not, I'm cool with that, I won't take it personally - we're still in this together.

This is quite a liberating realisation, and I'm looking forward to seeing how it changes the way I act and behave going forward.

I think this blog has done more for me already than I could have ever imagined. So I'm going to make sure I do my best to continue to share my thoughts and the special things I learn, with You every week.

And please feel free to do the same and leave your comments, I am really grateful for you reading this. :)

Til' next time!

Peace & Love,
A.