Those three words...

Yo guys,

Can you try something for me? Can you go stand in front of the mirror and tell say 'I love you?'

Why the hell is it so hard?

Now try saying it to your dog or cat. I bet it comes out a lot easier.

1-2 years ago, I struggled to look myself in the mirror and just be okay with myself.

I'm not just talking about the way I looked, because yeah I had issues with that; I'm talking about standing there and judging everything I did, the silly mistakes I had made, replaying something someone had said to me that had hurt, my failures. To the extent, that I couldn't have dreamed of saying those three words to myself.

I came to a realisation one day though, that this was the biggest thing that was affecting my ability to live freely and happily. You know what my theory is? Grown-ups (I dont consider myself one), are just big kids wanting love and attention. We all are. The big burly guy in the suit you saw this morning, talking about shares and investments? Yep, him too. Deep inside, he's still that rosy-cheeked 10 year old boy, looking for love, and fun, and little joys. It's one of those things that we all have in common. Who doesn't want to be loved?

http://www.google.com.au/imgres?um=1&hl=en&biw=1280&bih=635&tbm=isch&tbnid=eM8yE0vd3k_eTM:&imgrefurl=http://www.facebook.com/pages/Adults-are-just-kids-with-money/306011356092121&docid=RlSF6iutH032XM&imgurl=http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc6/276565_306011356092121_811957863_n.jpg&w=180&h=270&ei=os-mUJugN6qRigeuroHoBw&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=362&sig=100015285776656540573&page=1&tbnh=138&tbnw=92&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0,i:69&tx=59&ty=56

 

 

Okay, so we want love. Cool. Now where can we find it? Default answer - outside. In our relationships, in our friendships, heck, even in objects. But after a while, when your 'better half' starts pissing you off, and your parents are being annoying, and your iPhone breaks down, you're getting that familiar feeling again - frustration, annoyance, bitterness, all hiding a deeper emptiness.

And that's when you realise - if you don't love you, then you will never find love anywhere else.  No one will be good enough, people will continue to do all the 'wrong things', and you'll go through life feeling like something is missing.

You know what it's like? It's like a bald man selling wigs. It's ridiculous. How can you offer something to others, when you don't have it yourself? Sooner or later, something is going to come tumbling down.

So I started this simple and strange routine in the morning, where I would stand in front of the mirror in the morning and say those three words - "I love you, no matter what you do, completely and always". It was SO hard to begin with, I couldn't stop criticising. Especially because I wake up looking like an ogre in the morning. But I stuck at it for about a week, and suddenly it was easy. It was so easy to like myself, and eventually, I started saying it with feeling and enthusiasm. This is embarassing, but I give myself hugs as well. Like this guy, aaw:

http://www.sodahead.com/fun/today-is-national-hug-a-nerd-day-have-you-hugged-a-nerd-yet/question-1569157/?link=ibaf&q=&imgurl=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/stephencramer/miami%2525202008/IMG_7939.jpg

And in the space of a year, I noticed that I:

* Stopped criticising myself as much
* Supported myself more when I was down
* Became non-clingy and had less expectations of others when it came to friendships
* Became a lot less irritable
* Felt lighter and happier

I became my Best Friend, and it feels awesome. It really does. I'm still working on it of course, I have my moments where I'm down on myself. But what I've noticed is that I dont let it go out of hand, I snap out quicker and bounce back faster.

So my tip for today? Become your best friend, because seriously, you're not going to leave your side. You're kinda stuck with you.

Start with those three words, once a day, and watch them change you.

Thanks for reading and til next time,

Peace and Love!

A.