Let's do this.
Take a moment, sit down and draw a circle on a piece of paper. Imagine the circle is your mind, and with a black pen, colour in the portion of the circle that you think is NEGATIVE.
Wait, negative? How can a mind be positive or negative?
Let's detour for a moment:
I'm a firm believer in the fact that your thoughts reflect in your physical body. For me, when I'm thinking anxious or stressed thoughts, my chest tightens and I start taking short, sharp breaths. When I pinpoint the stress-inducing thought, and replace it with a 'positive' thought ("I am not guilty" or "I forgive myself for all the mistakes I have made"), I can actually literally feel my body respond, with a huge breath, a relieving sigh.
So what I'm trying to say is this - the thoughts we think, turn into the emotions we feel, turn into our moods, turn into our personality, turn into our (experience of) LIFE.
What are your thoughts like, generally? How do you feel throughout the day? By gauging your feelings, you can pinpoint the quality of your thoughts. If you're feeling tired, lethargic, drained, irritable much of the time, (barring valid health reasons) then it's safe to say you have some pretty negative thought patterns running through your mind.
So let's get back to that circle - if you had to evaluate your mind and the thoughts that run through your head, what portion would you say, is uplifting and energizing vs. tiring and depressing?
Five or six years ago, I would've honestly coloured in that entire circle with black. I had an overwhelmingly negative mindset.
It was only until I discovered the concept of 'positive affirmations', did I consciously change my mind, and thereby change my life.
Let me try to define what positive affirmations are -
They are consciously and intentionally designed POSITIVE thoughts, that you repeat to yourself consistently to re-program your mind.
I discovered affirmations when someone very close to me was going through depression. As we worked through it together, I learnt how powerful our mindset is, in determining our perception of life. If you think Life is bad, then that's exactly how you will perceive it.
That's when I realised - my experience of life, is not created externally. It is created in my mind.
I used to think every day was a struggle, I used to think I couldn't do anything right. And I was right.
Now I think that Life is the most beautiful, exhilarating experience, and that I can move mountains and change the world. And I am right.
Coincidence? Actually no:
So if I drew that circle now, I would probably colour in about this much of it:
Epic Paint skills!
There is definitely still some negativity left - old thinking patterns that have formed from experiences, that I just don't have the guts to delve into yet and wrinkle out. But I will - because it feels exactly as it looks, above. It feels like a cloud has lifted, as though I had been seeing life through a dark filter, and slowly that filter is falling away.
If you dont believe me, if you don't believe that our thoughts change the way we view Life, then please just try this:
Think of one thing, just one thing that bothers you, something that every so often stands in your way, or causes you anxiety.
EXAMPLE:
Maybe everytime you're getting ready to go out somewhere, you get really nitpicky about how you look, you try out ten different outfits, and within a few minutes, you're feeling awful and super-critical about yourself. Step 1 - Identify the feeling/action/behaviour.
Great, so we've pinpointed a certain instance of negative behaviour that recurs. Now, identify the underlying thought pattern behind it. Try the 5 Whys method (http://j2self.blogspot.com.au/2012/11/more-than-just-word.html), or just sit with yourself in silence and ask yourself what's really going on.
Maybe you'll come up with something like this:
"I'm so unattractive and no-one likes me". Step 2 - Identify the underlying thought.
Awesome we're almost there! Now we know the thought pattern - you have several options. You can delve into the deeper trigger for the thought and address that. Or, you can simply start replacing the thought pattern.
How?
Think of it like this:
Your mind is the vase. You're the expensive 99 dollar single-stemmed rose from Roses Only. Your thoughts are the water. Over time, sh@t happens, and the water gets murky. As the water gets murky, the rose starts wilting, and things start to look...sad.
So change the water. Take the rose out, pour the murky water away, and replace it with sparkling, fresh new water. And watch yourself bloom as a result.
So you know your 'murky thought'. Now just be aware of it. That's all. Most of the time, these negative thought patterns have become so intrinsically a part of us, that we are not even aware of them, and they play in the background, influencing us in subtle but powerful ways. So, Step 3 - Be aware of the negative thought.
Once you signal to yourself that you want to be aware of it, you will be aware of it, simple as that. You'll notice it as it crops up. And as you do, you distance yourself from the thought. The thought is no longer you, you become separate from it, you observe it. In this process, most of the power that thought had over you, is lost.
The final step? Write out a 'positive affirmation' on a piece of paper, which will completely replace the negative thought pattern. In this case, your affirmation could be:
"I am beautiful, and I love every part of me, completely"
Now all you have to do, is repeat this affirmation to yourself. I would say, first thing in the morning, in front of the mirror. Keep the affirmation in your bag and look at it every so often. Drum it into your head. Say it to yourself when the negative thought appears. Step 4 - Re-program your mind.
Do this for a month and you will start to see the difference. Eventually, you will not need physical affirmations, because you will start to believe what you are telling yourself - that you are beautiful. Which is true anyway. ;)
Knowing how my mind works, has made a big difference in my attitude, my behaviours and my personality.
And as always, tell me how it goes!
Til' next time,
Peace & Love,
A.
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