I hope you've had the most amazing day :-)
A comment made on my post last week, really made me think this week. It was well-considered, thought-provoking and drew my attention to something really important: that I need to learn to stop, breathe and appreciate.
For those who know me, you know I like to push myself like anything. I become so singularly focused on something that I ignore everything else. And when I accomplish something, I revel in it, but I sometimes keep the achievement at an arm's length, to stop myself from becoming complacent.
On the self-development front, I've realised I am no different. When I see myself, I always see a 'Work in Progress', someone who needs to constantly improve and 'fix her faults' to become stronger and better. With this blog, I have discovered a newfound enthusiasm for self-development, and it has become a big 'goal' in my life now. But what this also means, is that I am starting to treat it as I treat all of my other goals - with a RAGE to make progress.
This undying determination to make progress and to make change, is something I treasure about myself. At the same time, I am realising that I need to learn to PAUSE and APPRECIATE, every so often.
For instance, this entire past week - I pushed myself to do this and do that, but strangely enough, despite all that I did, I:
1) did not feel as fulfilled as I thought I would
2) wanted to do even more
And all of this is because I never at one point, stopped to fully acknowledge to myself that I had achieved something. I never took a moment to myself to completely let go, and appreciate what I had done.
You know what this is like? As cliche as it sounds, it is like a high-powered Lamborghini (they are so gorgeous), ZOOMING away on a freeway for hours on end, without a pit-stop. Not good after a while.
So why am I so unwilling to give myself this 'spiritual pit-stop'?
1) I am afraid that if I acknowledge my achievements, I will become complacent, and I will stop.
2) I am afraid that if I do stop for moment, it is a waste of precious time.
This mentality, I've now realised, is resulting in a vicious circle, a MIND-TRAP as I like to call it:
The world's ugliest circle.
This has uncovered one of my deepest insecurities - the fear of not doing enough with my Life.
BAM. There we go. Now all those complaints I make about feeling exhausted, about there not being enough time for anything, about feeling frustrated and worn down - it all makes sense.
So here's how I am going to fix it.
Starting tomorrow, I'm going to take care of myself. Not just physically, or self-developmentally. I mean emotionally.
I am a big believer in positive reinforcement. I don't believe you can inspire people or change things if you stay focused on the negative, or on what ISN'T happening. You stay focused on what IS possible, and slowly the concept of impossible or 'NOT THERE YET' just seeps away.
So why aren't I applying this principle to myself? I am committing the biggest sin possible in leadership: I am not acknowledging achievements, I am staying narrowly focused on what hasn't been accomplished, and I'm continuing to push myself relentlessly. Working without feeling as though the work is being valued, is like running on empty. And this has to end here and now.
There we go Me, I hope you're taking notice.
So starting tomorrow, here's what I am going to do:
1. I am going to write out a list of my current commitments and see how much more I can commit to, before I hit that point of 'OVERLOAD'.
2. I am going to scale back and evaluate opportunities, committing only if they are in line with my goals.
3. I am going to space things out across the week, so that I have time to breathe.
4. Every time I complete a task, I will literally step away, take a couple of hours to relax and clearly acknowledge to myself, that I did I great job, and I should be proud. And yes I may give myself a hug. :-)
5. On weekends, I will treat myself - yes that's okay. It's not a waste of time, it's actually a time saver. A few hours to re-charge will result in a more efficient and effective 'machine'.
6. Every morning, I want to incorporate just a few minutes where I sit down and acknowledge everything I have - kind of like a 'Gratefulness Routine'. If I feel like I am already abundant, I will be less likely to take action from a mindset of 'lack', and therefore be less likely to overload my plate to address insecurity.
Phew.
Big realisation.
But a good one! A lot of us rush from one thing to the next, and feel like a spent force at the end of the day. Maybe this little tweak in our mindset and in our day, could make a great difference? It could build our patience, release our stress and anxiety, and energise us to accomplish even more.
Thank You to the reader who made that comment last week - you are awesome.
And guys again, let me know your thoughts. They clearly have a great impact on me and I love the conversations they lead to. :) And the next time you get something done, give yourself that metaphorical, or literal, pat on the back. Because you totally deserve it.
Til' next time!
Peace & Love,
A.
Old Friend...you have no idea how much I can relate to this post. Our drive is both a blessing and a curse. When I met you last year at scholarship weekend, I knew we had a lot in common. However, I had no idea that we are both guilty of auto pilot. I have also made some changes to my life. I refuse to live life like a checklist. I want to accomplish alot but I also want to have fun while doing it.
ReplyDeleteI've missed you! I loved our time together at the Scholarship Weekend, you have to believe me when I say, I was so inspired by your confidence and your spark..and that gorgeous hair. ;)
ReplyDeleteI agree: I've realised I've been living exactly like that - "I need to accomplish a, b, c, d", like a checklist. But Life is not meant to be like that, and realising this has made my last 2 days so much happier and fulfilled. I'm coming to the States soon, and I would love to see you again! <3 P.S I love your site, it's SO you. :)